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[Mar. 23rd, 2009|10:50 pm] |
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I got a prom dress and senior ring. Franks a sketch and so I'm going to prom with Corey now {yay!}. I'm not as behind in school as I thought. I work 3 days this week. Parents are going out of town this weekend and its been like perfect summer weather. Yay! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|12:14 am] |
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This is very frustrating. I just got home from the hospital for the second time. I've been out of school and sick/in and out of the hospital for the past 3 weeks. My arms and hands are completely bruised and full of dots/holes from my 14 iv attachments/attempts/bloodwork. I started off having a kidney/bladder infection and ended up with pneumonia. I've had dangerously low blood pressure and as a result I keep almost blacking out. For the past 4 or so days, anytime I walk around I get clammy, chills, nauseaus, and my vision completely goes away. My normal blood pressure is 120/60 but lately its been anywhere from 110/50 to 84/29. This is incredibly scary and is leaving me pretty much bedridden.I am so behind in school and I have so many other things I'm missing out on. I can't drive because I feel so weak, I've missed around 14 or so days of school, I haven't worked in forever so I have no money, I have yet to get a prom dress. I just really want to get better and back to normal. Spring break is in a few weeks and prom is in a month and a half. I'm going to prom with Frank and I'm really excited but it sucks that I'm the last to get my dress. Atleast everything is already figured out so I don't have to worry about that. I was planning on going back to vegan now that fruits and such are starting to grow but its "strongly against medical advice" at this point. My mom keeps trying to get me to eat salty, fried foods and fish in order to bring my blood pressure back up but I hate it. I'm grateful though that my mom is the only one that isn't forcing me to try to eat meat again on a regular basis. I'm really hoping that by April everything will be completely normal, I'll have a prom dress, I'll be caught up in school, and able to go back to being vegan. |
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[Jan. 7th, 2009|04:23 am] |
"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."
I have no motivation to go to school. I have no idea how I am going to endure 4 more months (and then another year) of this. I would love to just go to Charter and finish high school and start at UL. My sleeping pattern is completely off kilter. Last night I fell asleep around 3 am and woke up around 3 pm, therefore yet again, I overslept school. I woke up to Lindsey banging on my door. Corey apparently was worried that I was dead, so he made Lindsey come check on me. School is in 2 1/2 hours and I have no desire to go to sleep. I feel like I have so many things to do. I feel so incredibly anxious. I've started having panic attacks again. Everythings changing again, hopefully it will be in my favor. |
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[Dec. 15th, 2008|09:39 pm] |
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Ah, this semester is almost over! I'm so freaking done with school. I work Tuesday and Wednesday and I'm only going to school till 10:25 on Thursday and 8:50 on Friday. Thursdays pay day. Samantha and Justin come down Saturday. Frank leaves Sunday and comes back on the 29th. I'm excited to see Sam. I'm really going to miss Frank though. I really am starting to fall for him whcih is completely unexpected. I really like our relationship because I don't feel insecure or stupid or anything like that at all with him. I can be completely myself around him and we have so much fun together. This is also the first time that we have the same friends/my friends like him. It really works out. I really need this break. I'm getting over a wicked cold or whatever this is and the rest and the lack of routine will be great. |
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[Nov. 30th, 2008|04:50 pm] |
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I spend my days doing a whole lot of nothing. Frank and I are dating now. I've started hanging out with more people. We started hanging out at my house a lot more, every night pretty much. I'm actually doing better in school. I opened a seperate account at my bank so I can have one to save money and one that I'll spend from. I'm starting to get excited for Christmas. It sucks that Frank will be in Costa Rica for the first half of break but at least he'll be here for New Years. We've been talking about taking a trip to NOLA but I think we will actually end up going soon which will be really exciting. I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow but at least it's only 3 weeks before Christmas break. |
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[Nov. 13th, 2008|10:44 pm] |
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My mom graduated from school today and we all went out to eat with my family and it was actually really cool. I'm probably going to be working at the Boondocks on the weekends from now on [taking money/giving wristbands] which is an extra $30 every night and I get to hang out with neat people, so that's exciting. I really need to start saving up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|05:28 pm] |
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I hate how much I miss her. I hate how everything reminds me of her. I hate that she's out of my life. |
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[Oct. 26th, 2008|08:32 pm] |
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I've started hanging out with different people than I did before and it's so much better. I'm like the only girl but it's all good because there's no drama. A new music venue called the Boondocks opened up in Lafayette which is totally cool because I don't have to drive all the way out to the Underground Sea anymore. I started gauging my ears again. Nathan is teaching me to skateboard which is really exciting. |
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[Oct. 23rd, 2008|10:54 pm] |
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I am selfish, inconsiderate of other's feelings, and I do not think about how my actions affect others. I DO NOT HIDE THESE THINGS. I'm always straight up yet people will always think they will be an exception. I am terrible at keeping friends and I usually don't think it's a big deal when a friendship ends. Sucks that you're hurt but it isn't my fault. You're choosing to act like this and ruin our friendship so don't be mad and say I don't care when I tried fixing things. I can't worry about how everyone else is feeling. Lately I've been in such a good mood but today it just fucking all built up. I'm so angry and tired of people telling me I'm a bitch and a bad friend. DON'T FUCKING HANG OUT WITH ME THEN IF I'M SUCH A BAD FRIEND. Problem solved. This is such high school bullshit dude. |
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[Oct. 16th, 2008|11:43 pm] |
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Oh what! Homecoming is on Friday! I'm so excited. All I do is work so to have a break from work and school will be so nice. |
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[Oct. 6th, 2008|08:16 pm] |
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Life is so incredibly weird. I'm just doing a lot of enjoying it lately though. |
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[Sep. 26th, 2008|11:07 pm] |
So, it's sad this doesn't suit you now.
And me fresh out of rope...
Please ignore this lisp, I never meant to sound like this.
So take me and break me and make me strong like you.
I'll be forever grateful to this and you.
It's only you, beautiful.
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose it's only you. |
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[Sep. 25th, 2008|10:37 pm] |
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Frustration. Why is everyone so serious? I'm trying to find a balance... |
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[Sep. 24th, 2008|10:55 pm] |
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I didn't go to school today because I like super overslept and woke up at 4. Niel came hang out for a while which was really cool. Work is super amazing. I work with really cool people who aren't that much older then I am which is so different from when I worked with all adults. I work tomorrow so that will be fun. I actually look forward to going to work. I've decided to enjoy being single. Hum de dum. :] |
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[Sep. 23rd, 2008|10:20 pm] |
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I feel like shit. I haven't gotten more then 5 hours of sleep in the past week or so. I've been fighting to stay awake in my classes. I've been having really bad panic attacks lately. We get report cards on Friday. I really really hope my grades are good. |
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